Reflections

Reflection 

I know its February and, yes, its not January anymore, but it's always a good time for reflection. I am a serial list maker and given how fast time goes by, I feel it is absolutely necessary to stop and remember the past, ponder the future, and savor the now. Personally, I think the biggest goal/aspiration we all have is to be the perfect parent. I want so badly to be the best mother my kids could ever have. Then, when I'm frustrated and my patience is running low I get the over-whelming sense that I'm not even close.  Even more frustrating is when I'm having a "bad" day. Any mom who deals with a chronic illness (either they are the ones diagnosed or it's someone else in the family) can tell you about this frustration and guilt. I want to give my children the best day, every day and when my spoons are short I have to say "not today" - for anyone who doesn't know about the spoon theory, please check it out - it's extremely important to anyone in proximity to a chronic illness, whether they are the ones diagnosed with it, or a loved one impacted by it.

 Remember:

" Each morning, we are born again." - Buddha 

  "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt 

  "Worrying is praying for something you don't want." - Bhagavan Das 

  "There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind." - C.S. Lewis 

  " Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better." - Maya Angelo 

Found on Pinterest: You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. 

All great change are preceded by chaos. The hunk verse is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. 

I Found a really great exercise at You Know It Happens At Your House Too: 

The "I am _____" project 

The exercise is to take five minutes and finish this sentence as many ways as you want. Then, you can post them in her FB page message. She has been posting them in her statuses. Here is mine! I am....

• A mother to 2 toddlers
• A former marine wife, newly civilian wife
• Emotional and sensitive
• A passionate animal advocate
• A people pleaser who is not fond of confrontation, but will not hesitate to stand up for my family or any animal needing a voice
• Living with an invisible illness
• Frequently running out of spoons
• Trying desperately to be the best mother, wife, sister, and daughter I can be
• Deathly afraid of failure - and to a lesser extent, clowns and marionette puppets
• A little nerdy
• Abnormally found of school
• Creative and quirky
• An eating disorder survivor

I definitely recommend that you do this. Reading everyone else's is very inspiring! And if you are still feeling sub-par, take a look at these numbers 

Today moms (Today.com) partnered with Parenting Magazine and interviewed/surveyed more than 250,000 women to find out how they really feel.

Top 10 Mom Confessions 

1. Mom wants to be alone - 23% of moms crave alone time most, 23% also put sleep as #1 .... Yeah, that's not really a surprise.

2. Mom feels weird about breastfeeding - 18% say they judge other moms for choosing not to breastfeed and 43% say they dropped the extended breastfeeding. I, personally, always planned on breastfeeding. I knew the benefits and wanted the best for my children, but that wasn't exactly how things turned out. Due to my medical conditions I have to take medications daily. Seizure meds, in particular, can be very dangerous when passed through breast milk. I needed to formula feed and I did get those judgmental looks. Because of my circumstances, I never judge women for formula feeding. You don't know their circumstances. It might be the best thing for their baby. 

3. She sends kids to school sick - 49% of working moms let kids go to school with an "iffy" illness (ie: son has a stomach ache, but hasn't thrown up and has no fever). 

4. She wants a do-over - 71% of moms secretly would do it all over a little differently. 23% would choose a different spouse, 21% wished they had more kids, 19% would pick a more flexible career, and 4% questioned kids all together. 

5. Choose sleep over sex - 53% would rather have a good night's sleep over mind-blowing sex. 

6. Distracted by technology - 5% say their children were hurt because they were busy texting or web browsing, 18% have had close calls. 

7. She medicates... her children - 18% say that at desperate times they medicate their children on long trips, etc. 8% said they medicate their children on a regular basis. Hmmmm, does medicating yourself count?

8. She judges other moms - 12% claimed to not give a hoot, 88% say they are judgmental, 66% say that a bratty kid i most likely to bring on judgment (the other big one is health issues), 37% judge moms with over weight kids, 34% judge kids eating junk food. 

9. Mom plays favorites (secretly) - 14% have a fav. 

10. She uses kids to get out of things - 84% think it's a convenient excuse (well, duh), 45% use kids to get out of social obligations about once a month. Well, duh! That's one of the perks! So now that you know you aren't alone, are you feeling better? 

 Another great reflection activity I like to do is my Favorites pages. 

Since my kids are outgrowing things and moving on to the next new obsession so quickly, I've started cataloging them in my Special Book. Every Time I notice that their favorite stuff changes I make a new page and date it. 

 

Basic Outline   

 Name:                     Date: Favorite - Activities: Foods: Toys/Games: Movies/TV Show: BFFs: Color: Anything that sticks out to you as something really important to your child at that time.