Maintenance

It seems like it's really hard for some people to grasp that having to be in the hospital from time to time is a perfectly normal aspect of dysautonomia. To others, it seems that being ill and in the hospital means that when you leave you'll be better - and that is what it normally means. But for someone with dysautonomia (or anything chronic for that matter). The truth is, being in the hospital is just a tune up. It's reestablishing equilibrium. 

This is my "normal"

Example: Last week something seriously irritated my gut. I have no idea what exactly it was, or if it was even something specific. For all I know, it might have just been my body being a defiant teenager. The rest of the week I was unable to keep anything down. Nothing. Not water. Not my meds. Nothing. I finally called my doc and he told me to get over there ASAP. Because apparently not keeping anything down for three days is a bad thing. So long story short, I'm in the hospital. Again. 

Sweet, sweet IV fluids... Oh, how I love you! 

And I'm facing the statements like, "Maybe you just need to try harder to eat even if you get sick." 

And questions like, "Well what are they doing to fix this?" and "What if you just do ___?" 

...*sigh*... 

Ummm, no, I can't try harder. No, I can't just do ___. And they aren't doing anything to "fix" this. This can't be "fixed".

There comes a point where you just have to accept that this is reality and part of this reality is hospitalizations from time to time. This one is mainly to give my gut a rest. I'm on IV fluids (miracle juice!), IV meds, and a strict clear liquid diet. After being here for a couple of days my vitals are back where they should be and I'm keeping some of my meds down. My stomach is still ridiculously irritated and I'm still needing IV fluids and meds. But once everything chills out, I'll be able to go home. I won't be cured and it won't be the last time this happens. This is just maintenance. And I'm ok with that. I'm just waiting for everyone else to be ok with it, too.