I'm always obsessing over what I'm teaching my kids
What I should be teaching them, and what I should NOT be teaching them. My husband says that I over complicate things. I stress about this constantly. He is of the "they're kids. Let them be kid's and they'll learn along the way" school of thought.. Which is great. I totally agree, but what about their emotional growth and adjustment? Are we damaging them? Should we be going about things completely differently? Are we totally messing them up?... Ok, yeah, that's what goes through my brain, in a nutshell. Scary, right? Anyway... I'm trying to relax and let things go, but at the same time I want to ensure that I'm helping them grow into compassionate, inquisitive little beings, guiding them with love, and instilling positive habits. All with a huge dose of enrichment.
Now for the threads of this tapestry:
- My son (18 months) is very laid-back and perfectly happy just hanging out. He likes to explore on his own and would rather do so than be led through something. He is just like my husband and fits well with his parenting style.
- My daughter (3 yrs. old), is much more like me. She craves activity and routine. She gets very irritable when cooped up, or stuck in an "entertain yourself" type of atmosphere for too long. She loves interaction and sensory play. As I am almost positive that we are failing at some stuff, there are a few things that I am proud of. I hope that my family will continue to incorporate new, enriching activities as time goes on. Admittedly, there are also some things I am NOT proud of and want to NIX right away.
Things I am Proud of:
- Kelly and I started keeping art journals about 6 months ago. We call them our "special books". Usually at night, before bed, we get them out and work on them a bit. Our special books are just for us and we can write/draw anything we want in them. I have pages dedicated to certain people/themes, and she has adopted this idea into her book too. She will tell me, "I'm working on daddy's page". Though she is only 3 and cant write yet, I know that soon she will and i hope to still be doing this. I plan to keep the journals as they fill up over the years and give them to her when she turns 18 (or something like that). On my sons next birthday, I am going to give him his very own Special Book to fill up.
- Both my children already love the outdoors. I don't really think I need to go into detail about why this is a good thing, but I definitely want my children to love and respect nature.
- My husband started a great tradition with my daughter about a year and a half ago. Each night (most nights, as long as weather permits) they go outside to say goodnight to the moon and stars. I absolutely love this.
Things I want to try:
- Before a holiday, I want to have my children (and us parents) go through all their toys and clear out all the stuff they have outgrown. The catch: They have to donate the old stuff so that they will have room for new stuff.
- Family Sleepovers!!! I think this is an awesome idea. Pick a night each week/month (whatever you want) and set that night aside for a family sleepover. Have everyone sleep in the living room with their sleeping bags, etc. Watch a movie together, pop popcorn, tell stories! Right now my family kind of already does this. Every night. Since my husband just got out of the military we are kind of in limbo. We have moved back to Florida and are staying with my parents while we look for a pace and get settled. This means that we are sleeping in my old bedroom. That's right. Two adults, two toddlers, two dogs, and two snakes. One bedroom. Cozy. That being said, I am beyond grateful for my parents, and everything they are putting up with - Because, you know, all of the two adults, two toddlers, two snakes, and two dogs are running rampant through their house. Which, by itself, has three adults (one with special needs), and two dogs.
- Night time "thank you for...." - Every night, before bed, have everyone say a thank you prayer.
- Write a letter to my child each year on their birthday. In a way, I already do this with my Special Book. Every few months (as soon as they have outgrown the previous page) I make a page dedicated to that child. I write on it their favorite things of that moment and date them. I include favorite colors, songs, activities, foods... Anything and Everything.
Things I want to NIX!
- Parenting from two different books - I absolutely HATE this! Not only does it cause arguments, but it also confuses the kids
- Communication interference - In powder for my husband and I to be parenting from the same book, we need to communicate better. 'Nuff said. As my husband and I continue this journey, we have been able to identify our main goals. Hopefully, we can solidify them and make peace with the inevitable conclusion that we will scar our children in some way. I can only hope that it will be something very miniscule.
